


Jane Bond

by iwouldbemerry



Series: Bond, Jane Bond [1]
Category: James Bond (Classic movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types, James Bond - Ian Fleming
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Espionage, F/M, Female James Bond, Gen, Rule 63, What-If, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 09:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21474007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwouldbemerry/pseuds/iwouldbemerry
Summary: Assorted headcanons about how James Bond would change/stay the same as a woman.
Series: Bond, Jane Bond [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547899
Kudos: 9





	Jane Bond

“Bond, Jane Bond”

Same blue eyes and short dark hair, normally styled in a very cute pixie cut-- she wears wigs whenever in the field/undercover, but the one constant is her eyeliner, sharp enough to kill

She got her start in Intelligence during WW2, was a WASP pilot and worked with the Resistance in France

She still flirts with Moneypenny like their lives depend on it. Evelyn Moneypenny was in her unit, went to the same private school, etc. 

Jane thinks of her as a sister and makes sure all the other Double-Oh agents (all male) know she’s off limits (they’re all heartbreakers, Jane knows. Takes one to know one)

Jane doesn’t sleep with everything that crosses her path because she believes in not making things harder for herself than they have to be. 

For this reason, she saves all her gloating (critical analysis) for her after-action reports, rather than for the middle of the fight/escape. This means her success rate is a third again as high as her male peers, and her brilliantly scathing reads of what the villains should have done are required reading for new recruits

She does still use her gender and appearance ruthlessly to make sure her enemies underestimate her and to get the job done whenever necessary

With both men and women, platonic or romantic, whatever is most useful

When her compatriots (and enemies) call her out on her reputation, she points out that if she were a man, they’d just congratulate her on her conquests. Then she demonstrates her perfect aim (or perfect figure) and waits until they fall silent.

Jane doesn’t get captured as much as she would as a man-- a woman alone is far, far more spatially aware. 

She does get physically overpowered slightly more often if she can’t get the strategic advantage fast enough. Leverage and speed are her allies more than outright physical strength.

(She is a black belt in aikido and krav maga and a fully trained nurse)

However, when she does get captured/knocked out, without fail, the villain (who wants her dead or in his bed or both) has always provided or dressed her in something incredibly revealing. 

She, without fail, uses part of her slutty costume to kill or disable them (strangled with bra straps, impaled with stilettoes) before stealing their coat/jacket/shirt, and in the following film, always makes a cameo appearance wearing one of her trophies and little else while relaxing at home 

(pants-free zone is mandatory at post-mission, all-girl cocktail night with Moneypenny and the other women of Intelligence)

Most of her villains indicate their enemy status early on by how they treat their female employees/mistresses. Jane always notices, and usually offers the women help if they waver at all in their dedication.

If they don’t, she treats them exactly like any other enemy, if not with more caution. She's well aware that women are usually sneakier/underestimated.

She does all she can to resolve a situation without resorting to violence, but once pressed to that point, immediately switches to lethal force without hesitation for gender.

Most of MI6 is both terrified of and completely attracted to her because of this

She and M have an affectionately adversarial relationship, and he does occasionally tell her to leave the more dangerous missions to the other agents, despite his reluctant awareness that she is the best he has. He sees her a bit as a surrogate daughter and fully plans to pass his position on to her upon his death/retirement

When she does-- Judi Dench in the Brosnan/Craig Bond movies

Her trademark outfit is a classy LBD, seamed stockings, patent leather pumps, and a fitted black blazer, though she has a black jumpsuit for infiltration/combat missions

At least once per film she gets into a fight in this classy. feminine outfit, removing her jacket and unzipping a hidden seam for greater freedom. Despite bullet wounds and any other damage taken, after the fight she always smooths her hair and puts her jacket back on and looks as good as new.

Q branch always comes up with the coolest toys disguised as harmless women’s cosmetics or accessories. 

Even if not by the main villain, once per film someone will fail to search her properly or take her purse away and suffer humiliatingly for it.

Speaking of which, despite the many, many times she’s destroyed a new invention in the line of duty, she’s Q’s darling and everyone knows it. Whenever she is in-country they take high tea together and gossip about the War.

Really, she’s the darling of most of the Double-Ohs. While a few of them are threatened by her power and beauty, most of them would die for her/want to be her/think of her as family. They were mostly trained together, and it’s largely Jane’s influence that has provided the department as a whole with an enduring sense of commmunity and loyalty. The Double-Ohs have a lower rate of defection than any other division of MI6.

While she was once deeply in love (rumored he died during the War), and professes to never be interested again in marriage, at least once per film she will develop a true friendship with a male or female acquaintance, (even if somewhat reluctantly) a fellow or enemy agent

Or someone meaningful from her past will show up and render assistance, demonstrating the value she places on being part of the world, not separating herself from it. 

Approximately half of these relationships will end in betrayal or death, but the point is that she doesn’t give up on people despite so often seeing the worst of them.

If she took less notice of collateral damage, she might indulge in a fling at the drop of a hat, but she’s very careful. While she does ask for help, she never exposes civilians to danger without explaining the stakes.

Jane, steeped in society’s requirements for women to manage the emotional health of everyone around them, is very emotionally stable. While she does feel each death on a mission heavily, she always apportions blame to the villain who causes it, rather than internalizing her sense of failure and making it all about herself.


End file.
